a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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