i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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