I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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