So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
