Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
