Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
