i think my mom watched the whole time
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
