i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
