I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
