I'm jealous of your bromance
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
