First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
