He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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