Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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