...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
