before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Are we still banned from the library?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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