My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
