I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
