he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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