So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
