Rock
Scissors
Fuck
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
