youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize