do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
