There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
As shirtless as possible
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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