I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
