Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
