Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
