hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
