Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I have tasted many bathrooms
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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