adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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