4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
