Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
