dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
