If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
