I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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