I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My Higher Power is John Stamos
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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