there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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