I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
