it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
