Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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