I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
