so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
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