There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
