My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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