If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
