you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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