i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
