Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
