How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
the gays at disneyland are vicious
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
