"it" just moved
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
