There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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