that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
