Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
