Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
