I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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