Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Randomize
