at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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