Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
