I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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