So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
