Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Panties = found
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
