You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
